The National Geographic will trace your distant ancestry for you with just a swab of your cheek. If I had a 100 bucks to throw around, I'd totally do it. Supposedly, us Cohn's have a unique genetic heritage anyhow, so I'm guessing one of the answers they'd give would just be "Mesopotamia."
Also, if people like reading about science, I highly recommend this blog by Carl Zimmer. His brother Ben also seems to be a linguist, who posts to the ever-entertaining Language Log.